Raising Kids Who REALLY Listen
When it comes to your kids, is it in one ear and out the other? Want to raise kids who really listen? Chances are you do and we’ve got a few tips that can help with this goal in mind. While this list is geared towards encouraging younger children, you can change the phrasing a bit and adapt it for older children and teens
Without further ado, here we go:
1. Listen up! One of the strongest ways that children learn is through modeling behaviors of their parents. You knew this was coming, right?
· When you demonstrate good listening skills in your everyday life in the presence of your kids, they will learn those skills, too. They can see how it's done by watching you.
2. Look away from that cell phone. When you want to communicate with your child, look away from your cell phone or stop your current activity to focus completely on them. Whether they initiate the conversation or you do, stop what you're doing so you can concentrate on your interaction. You have no idea how many kids comment on the fact that their parents don’t even look at them when they talk to them. Don’t be one of those parents.
3. Look into their eyes. In any type of communication, look in the eyes of the person you're talking to and teach your children to do the same.
· A subtle and special connection is made when people make eye contact. You better believe it! This behavior can be taught and picked up by children as young as two years of age.
4. Name game. When you talk to your children, saying their namewill help get their attention and set them up to be ready to listen, just like when someone calls your name, you stop what you're doing and look at them.
· Getting your child's attention by stating his name is an effective way to prepare him to hear what you're going to say. That focus is necessary to begin to develop listening skills.
5. Take a seat. This suggestion sends the message, "Get ready to listen because I'm going to talk."
· When your child is very young, try leading him to a chair. Then say something like, "I'd like to talk to you for a minute," which serves as an attention-getter.
· Once you complete what you wanted to express, be ready to listen to your child's response.
6. Check for understanding. From time to time, ask your child what you just said. You're trying to determine what your child heard by asking him to paraphrase what you said. When he repeats it properly, praise his efforts.
· If he doesn't get it quite right, you have an opportunity to repeat what you said for clarification and to enhance his listening skills.
7. Praise attempts at listening. When your child shows the smallest attempt to listen or to even approach listening, it's smart to reinforce those efforts right away. This is the principle of “successive approximation”.
· Even with a 2-year-old, you can encourage their listening skills by saying, "Thank you for sitting so quietly while Mommy was talking," or, "You were really listening to Daddy, thank you."
· After a conversation, simple responses, such as smiling while you say, "Great job on listening," also let your kids know they exhibited the important behavior you were seeking.
Promoting your child's listening abilities is best done in small ways every single day. As a parent, you're the best role model for teaching your children communication skills. Reward their efforts with smiles and positive comments, and you're on your way to building their listening skills for a successful future.
Kristine Kilgour, M.Ed., LPSC
School Counselor & Mediator
6636 West William Cannon Drive, Suite 1627
Austin, TX 78735
512-704-5265
can make 
getting from place to place a breeze. I highly recommend this item! I use mine all the time to lug my stuff around, and in and out of school.
Art supplies - You don't need to have a ton of art supplies, but I do recommend you have the basics, including crayons
, colored pencils
, markers
, paper
(lined
, unlined
, and construction paper
). I recommend Crayola brand
and colored pencils
.
are great for groups and individual sessions. I like to give kids their own play-doh so they can take it home after group. Clay is another great option; and it is typically gluten free!
are helpful for teaching students about managing anger. You can get stress balls at many places for free. I have stress balls in the shape of everything from a computer to a baseball bat. I got most of my stress balls from exhibit areas at conferences.
, scissors
, and a funnel
. For instructions check out my post, creating a stress ball. You can also use a pool noodle to create a stress ball.
. They are great to use for teaching relaxation techniques and to help students calm down.
are a great addition to your survival kit. Finger puppets are small so you can fit lots of them in your kit. Students love to act out situations or just play with the finger puppets. I have found great deals on finger puppets at Amazon, Etsy, Ikea, Target, eBay, and Ten Thousand Villages.
Jenga - Jenga
makes a great addition to a school counseling survival kit. There are many ways you can use Jenga
Uno - Uno
is a fun game to play with students the original way, or it can be used to talk about feelings and experiences. Allow students to pick feelings or rules for each color. Each time a someone lays down a color, they can talk about that feeling or experience. 
Plastic Tube Animals - Plastic tube animals work great in a portable sand tray, or by themselves. I recommend getting dinosaurs and jungle, farm, or zoo animals
to start your collection. *Other places to get plastic tube animals
includes: craft stores such as Michael's, Ross/T.J.Maxx/Marshalls, and department stores, and Amazon
Animal Crackers - Animal crackers make a great icebreaker! I have used animal crackers in groups for new students and as ice breakers in other groups. I have students pick an animal and identify how they are like that animal. It is a fun and tasty way to for students to get to know each other. I use gluten free animal crackers made by Kinnikinnick Foods, as many children (and adults) have food allergies and intolerances. 
Basketball Hoop - An Over-the-door basketball hoop is a necessity! It is great because you can put it up wherever you go. Both boys and girls love to use my basketball hoop. I use it often in individual and small group sessions with students. Sometimes we play a game where we answer a question then make a shot. Other times, students just talk to me about what is going on for them while shooting the basketball.
Balloons - Balloons have a variety of uses. Balloons can be used to make stress balls (with sand or flour), teaching students how to calm down, remembering a loved ones through a balloon release, discussing tension, etc. 
in my school counseling survival kit just in case.